Ups And Downs
by WaterPower
Summary: Things got complicated between Rick and Kate since she accepted the job in DC. How are they going to figure this out? Fanfic post Watershed.
1. Prologue

**Hi guys! Here I am with a new story post watershed :) **

**Hope you'll like it! Please leave a review because I need toknow if it's worth to continue or not. So if you want the next chapter, let me know what was good or not in this prologue! :)**

**This is just the prologue so it's a bit short but the next chapters will be longer I promise ;)**

**Enjoy! **

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**Ups and downs**

**Prologue**

Kate was gone. She was always gone. Since she had said yes to me and the job in DC, nothing was the same. It was great when she was here, the problem was not that. No. But it felt like she was never truly here. Sometimes she was gone for a week. Sometimes for two. Sometimes even more. We used to call each other every night but then, her assignments got more serious, she had to go on undercover missions more and more, and at these times, she couldn't call. I hated those periods. God knows what she was doing and where she was going. And in these moments, the most horrible scenarios were playing out in my author mind.

She came back one weekend, bruises all over her arms. Her mission got wrong and she had been attacked by the guy she was chasing. She told me that she could have died, but her partner on this mission rescued her before it was too late. Since that event, she was doing all her missions with him. She didn't tell me that of course, but after five years in the Twelfth Precinct playing the detective, I had learnt a few things. I could see her eyes shining when she was talking about _him_. Agent Matheson. That's what she called him once.

But this guy wasn't worrying me too much. I knew Kate wouldn't cheat on me. I trusted her on that. No, what worried me was her job and her secrets. Not knowing what she was doing and where she was going was keeping me from sleep all the time. I was afraid to receive a call telling me that she had had an accident and she was on an operation table. I was afraid of seeing her hurt. And if that happened to her, I would hate myself for letting it happen.

But the worst was what was really happening: we weren't really talking anymore. She couldn't really talk about her job. So I was the one who was talking all the time. At first, it was enough. She was still laughing at my jokes, everything was fine. She could even talked about some of her assignments and I could see how much she loved her new job. Until it didn't work anymore. She was changing. She was slowly closing up. That's what was bothering me. The non-sharing thing. I had to find a solution to fix this. To find out why she wasn't talking. Because I was almost sure she could tell me things without going into too much detail.

In addition to all of this, I had to plan the wedding all by myself. Kate had no time to do it when she was in DC or wherever she was, and when she got back home, she was too tired to get into that stuff most of the time. But when she wasn't too tired, it made her happy to help me plan it. And I liked it when she was happy. Seeing her smile was making all my problems go away. Hopefully, she would have the weekend off so we could go to a wedding shop downtown and try some dresses for her. We booked it a month ago, and all she had to do was ask her boss for this weekend off. All the rest was up to me.

My phone rang, bringing me back to real life. Unknown number. I hesitated a bit and pushed the red button. It was almost 1am, not the time to answer anonymous calls. A few minutes later, it called again. This time, I picked up.

"Richard Castle."

"_Hey Castle, it's me._"

"Oh hey Kate! Everything is fine?"

"_Yes I'm fine. Just on a mission. I don't have much time. I was just wondering if I could invite some friends of mine this weekend? I know that ..._" I heard another voice far away.

"Who's this? Is it Matheson? What are you doing with him in the middle of the night?"

"_Got to go Castle. Talk later! Kinda miss you. Bye._"

"Miss you … too"

She wasn't on the phone anymore. The phone call cheered me up. Hearing her voice always had that effect on me. And she called because she wanted me to meet her new friends. That was good news! I would love to meet that Agent Matheson whom she loved so much. Just to know who I was competing with. I had barely slept for five days now and I was really tired. Knowing she was okay made me feel better so I climbed into my empty bed a few minutes after the call and slept like a baby all next night, Kate would be back, home.

**SOOOOOOOOOOO ? :D Please tell me what you thought of it!**


	2. Chapter 1

**Hi guys. First of all, thanks for your reviews, it helps a lot.**

**Secondly, some of you said that Rick was in DC but he's still in NY. He didn't leave the loft which is why they are not seeing each other as much as they want.**

**And to finish, Castle was just depressed in the previous chapter cause Kate is gone most of the time. It happens to everyone to be depressed sometimes. That's why this story is called ups and downs. Please don't make conclusions too quickly, Kate is not that selfish and that idiot as I presented her in the prologue.**

**Hope you'll enjoy this chapter anyway :)**

**Don't forgot to review so I can know if it's better or worse x)**

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**Chapter 1**

It was finally Friday night. I had been looking at the time all day. I hadn't finished my undercover work but I had taken the weekend off. So unless there was a major problem involving national security, I was free all weekend! Plus, I needed a break. I needed to go home and see Rick. And I was sure he needed me too. I had been pretending to be a bartender in a pub all week and I didn't really liked it. Fights every night in the pub, people trying to pick me up all day, talking to strangers who would have usually repulsed me to get the information I needed, so many reasons that made me hate it. But at the same time, I liked it. There was this constant danger around me that made me love this job so much in the first place. And Matheson had been in there with me, making it so much easier.

Speaking of which, I had invited my coworkers over so Rick can stop asking questions about them all the time. I knew this new life was hard for him. Not knowing anything. I also knew he was worried about me all the time since I came back with all those bruises on my arms this one night. But I was a big girl, I could take care of myself. He had to stop worrying so much! Hopefully, this meeting would reassure him.

Our plane just landed in New York. Matheson and two other guys I worked with a few times took a cab in the direction of their hotel. I had given them the address of the loft where we were supposed to meet for dinner. I took another cab, hoping that the traffic wouldn't be too bad so I could be back home as quickly as possible. I felt like I hadn't seen Rick in an eternity. The truth is, I missed him a lot. I missed his jokes that annoyed me so much sometimes but they always brought joy during hard cases. But since I was in DC, it wasn't the same. Even if Matheson was nice to me and made me feel safe. I just missed him around me. I missed his gaze on me in tough cases, I missed his crazy theories, I missed kissing him before going to bed. I missed him.

Half an hour later, the driver distracted me from my thoughts by announcing our arrival. I was finally at the loft. I nodded my head as a way of greeting to the doorman. Then I pushed the elevator button and waiting for it to get down. My heart was jumping in my chest. I was so excited to see him! The few minutes that were separating me from Castle were killing me. I waited the elevator for a few seconds then I changed my mind. The stairs would be faster, even with my suitcase. I took it in my arms and climb the stairs as fast as I could. I arrived on the first floor, breathless. I took a few seconds to re-fill my lungs with fresh air. On the way to the door, I opened my pocket to take my keys and then I opened the door.

Nobody was there. Alexis was probably out with her college friends and there was no sign of Martha. I left my suitcase in the entrance, took off my vest and went looking for Castle. I started with his office. He wasn't there, and judging by the mess on his desk, he has been working hard all week. Maybe he was sleeping. I opened the door of our bedroom, the bed was perfectly made, and he wasn't there either. I was going to leave the room when I heard water. Rick was in his bathroom, taking a shower. A lot of dirty ideas ran through my mind, a little smile appeared on my face and I realized that I was biting my lower lip. I closed the door of the bedroom behind me and started to undress myself. What could be a better reunion than me, meeting him under the shower, for dirty things when he wasn't expecting me?!

Once I was undressed, I slowly opened the bathroom door, trying to make as little noise as I could. I could see his silhouette behind the shower curtain. I tiptoed closer to him. I was just a few feet away when he pulled violently the curtain and sprayed me with the shower while screaming "Hands up!". I yelped with surprise and the cold water he threw on me. Did he really think he could stop a bad guy with that?

"Kate?!"

" … Surprise!" I said with a little smile.

"I'm ... sorry. I just … I thought it was … I did not know …" He tried to explain, confused.

"Shhhhh, it's okay Rick …" I whispered while getting close to him.

He smiled back at me. I entered the shower and gave him a big reunion kiss. I heard him groan of happiness and I responded to it. We were both so happy to be back with each other. We separate after a while because we both needed air. We stood against each other for a long time under the hot water until he broke the silence.

"I thought your friends were coming over tonight? Tell me they are not waiting in the kitchen!"

"No they are at their hotel, don't worry. They're coming in a few hours."

"For dinner?"

"Yes. You don't mind, do you?" I suddenly asked, turning my gaze to meet his.

"Of course not Kate!" He automatically replied, letting the silence come back for a minute, "I'm just surprised that you didn't come with your friend Matheson right away. You guys seem inseparable."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, putting some distance between us.

"Nothing!"

"We're partners Rick! It's normal that we spend time together! And since when are you jealous? I can have friends on my own!"

It pissed me off so I left the bathroom without even waiting for an answer. I just heard a "Kate! I just … Kate, please, wait!" but I was too upset to wait for his answer. And my friends were coming in an hour, it was time to get ready. I picked up a dress from my wardrobe, a violet one, my favorite color. Then I carefully chose my underwear, in case something happened after the diner. I did my hair, put some light make up on my eyes and finally choose the heels that matched with my dress. Rick choose this moment to enter the room.

"Kate, I'm sorry. I didn't want to upset you." He said, with a little voice, apparently meaning what he said and afraid of my reaction.

"I have to prepare dinner." I said simply.

I was still pissed about the scene he had made. Then I just left the room, heading to the kitchen. Martha has come back home in the meantime. She cheered me up, visibly happy to see me, and as usual, she hugged me. I loved this moments with her. Martha was so nice to me. She knew that friends of mine were coming tonight so she helped me cook. Rick came help us ten minutes later. The tension was still there but we acted like nothing happened, not wanting Martha to get involved in this. When dinner was finally ready, she let us known that she was going out on Broadway with some of her friends for the night. She went upstairs to get ready, leaving Castle and I alone. He tried to get close to me but I didn't let him. His jealousy wasn't founded and he had to understand that I did not like this kind of things. When Martha got back, ready to go, we just both keep our mouths shut. She must have felt that something was wrong because she stopped, looking at us one by one.

"Everything alright kiddos?"

"Yes." We answered in sync.

It has been a long time since something like that had happened. We looked at each other, our gazes connected, making me realized in the same time how selfish I was to shut him down like that. Okay his jealousy scene was wrong but he was just concerned about me. There was nothing mean in it. If I was in his position, I don't know if I could have been as calm and understanding as he has been all this time. I had just been selfish and private about what was going on. I had been mean without allowing him the time to explain. Rick must have read my mind because he gave me a little smile and told me that there was no rush, that he was going to wait for me until I was ready, as he always did. I wanted to answer to his questions, stop being so secretive for a moment, but I didn't have time.

The knock on the door interrupted us. It's at this point that I realized Martha was long gone, leaving Rick and I in our own little world. Castle ended our eyes contact and went back into the kitchen to get the plates ready. I went to open the door, frustrated that I did not have the time to explain. Matheson was the first to enter in the loft. She cheered me up, happy to finally meet my fiancé. I introduced Rick to her. He turned over and the plate he was holding slipped from his hands. The plate broke up on the floor into a thousand pieces. It didn't even bothered him, his blue eyes were fixed on Matheson, his mouth open, transfixed.


	3. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Here's the new chapter. It's a little bit short but next one will be longer ;) **

**Don't forgot to leave a review :)**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 2**

"Rick? You okay?" I exclaimed.

He remained silent, his eyes fixed on Matheson. I looked at her, she was doing the same. Something was clearly going on here and I wasn't sure I liked it. After a few seconds of silence, he finally managed to say something, surprise all over his face.

"Julia?"

"Hello Richard. I wasn't expecting you there." Matheson replied.

"Me neither, actually."

"You two know each other?" I said, trying to figure out what was going on. I really needed some answers. And I was also a bit jealous of this eye exchange.

"You know what Beckett? I'm gonna go. Sorry for that. There's someplace else I need to be."

"Julia, wait!" Castle begged right away.

"There's nothing to say here Richard. Just let me go." She shouted just before closing the door behind her.

I stared at the door for a second, in shock, then looked at Castle. I could see that he was really frustrated about what happened. Without even look at me, he quickly picked up a shovel and a broom to clean up the mess he had made.

"What was that?" I asked, trying to understand why my colleague and my fiancé couldn't stand to be in the same room as each other.

Someone else knocked on the door. I was still looking at Rick, waiting for an answer. They knocked again. He glanced in my direction, wondering why I wasn't opening it.

"It Was nothing. Your other friends are here. You should open the door." He said like nothing happened, avoiding my gaze again.

"It was not nothing. We'll talk about that later."

I opened the door and my two other colleagues, Murphy and Heller, entered the loft. I introduced them to Castle, hoping that there wasn't going to be another awkward moment. Luckily there wasn't. Actually, Rick was the guy I felt in love with all night. Joking all the time, he quickly made them feel comfortable. He even succeeded in making me forget we had had a fight earlier for the time being . The guys left around midnight. Rick and I cleared the table and washed the dishes talking about what happened during the meal, still joking about the funny moments. Once everything was finished, we went on the couch, a glass of red wine in our hands.

"It was nice to meet them." He simply said, with a little smile on his face.

I was confused. I did not know if he was trying to tell me something or if he was going to. And I did not know if he needed time to say it or not. What I knew on the other hand was that I needed answers. I waited for a few seconds, scanning every inch of his face. When I understood that nothing else would come out of his mouth, I introduced the hard subject.

"What happened with Matheson, Rick?"

"Nothing. I was just surprised to find out that Matheson was actually a girl, that's all. Sorry for the jealousy act." He answered quickly, not even looking at me in the eyes.

"You were surprise to find out she was a girl? Really?" I replied giving him 'The look'.

"Yes. I was."

"But that wasn't the only thing. There was a weird exchange between you and her." I said, trying to make him confess.

"No there wasn't. What makes you think that?!"

"Because you knew her first name. Don't lie to me please Castle …"

Martha choose that moment to come back from her Broadway show. Rick emptied his drink in one gulp and filled it a second time. She came to join us on the couch, asking about the soirée. As expected, Rick didn't say a word about what happened with Matheson. As a good mother, Martha quickly understood that something was going on. I saw it on her face. Maybe she could talk to Castle. So I chose to step out of the room, pretending that I was tired and that I was going to sleep, leaving them together.

I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, put my night shirt and went back to the bedroom. I stopped for a moment, wondering if I should secretly listen to their conversation or not. I mentally slapped myself right after. That wasn't right! If I wanted to listen to the conversation, I should have stayed. But I ran away, like I always did. I took my place in the bed and picked up the first book I found on my nightstand. It was the first book I had by him, the one that my mother bought me. I felt the tears coming to my eyes. I was screwing up this relationship, once again. I tried to not let the tears flow but one ran down my cheek anyway.

Rick entered the room. He looked at me with those sorry eyes. He sat next to me and wiped the tear away with his hand. At his contact, I shuddered.

"Why are you crying?" He whispered.

"Because I'm acting like an idiot." I said, suddenly more interesting in my hands than anything else.

"You're not, Kate."

He went to the bathroom, not adding anything else to the conversation and I started to think he was mad at me. And that would have been justified after how I had behaved earlier. He had always given me time when I had secrets about my mother case or how I was feeling after my shooting. The least I could do was to be patient with him in return, but I hadn't. The minute his secret cane out I asked for answers. Thankfully, he came back less than a minute later, not giving me more time to torture myself, and he took place on his side of the bed, looking at me. I felt so bad that I couldn't look at him.

"Julia and I went to school together." I raised my gaze, my eyes found his.

"Rick, I'm sorry, I don't want to push you. I can wait until you're ready. You don't ha…" He put his index on my mouth to tell me to stop talking.

He took another few seconds and then continued.

"It didn't end well between us. She was my best friend. She …"

He took a deep breath. I could tell how hard it was for him to talk about it.

"She was everything to me. She saved my life. And I acted like a jerk."


End file.
